“Name It to Tame It”: A Grounding Tool for Anticipatory Pet Loss Grief
Anticipatory grief can feel overwhelming and hard to describe. It can sit in your chest like a constant weight, or show up as anxiety you cannot turn off. When your pet is still here, you might even question whether you are allowed to call it grief.
You are.
One of the most grounding things you can do is simple: name what you are feeling.
Why naming helps
Saying “This is grief. I am grieving,” can bring surprising relief. Naming your experience gives it shape. It creates a little space between you and the intensity, and reminds you there is a reason for what you are feeling.
Naming does not make you dramatic. It makes you honest.
A gentle practice: the thought and feeling download
Set aside a few quiet minutes. You can write, type, or speak into your phone.
Ask yourself:
- What am I thinking right now?
- What am I feeling right now?
Then let it come out without editing. No censoring. No trying to make it sound better. You are not solving anything. You are letting what is inside you be seen.
What to do after you download it
When you are finished, read or listen back with compassion. Not critique. Not problem-solving.
You might notice:
- fears about time, suffering, or decision-making
- guilt for thinking ahead
- anger that this is happening
- sadness you have been carrying alone
- love and gratitude that hurts because it matters
Often, awareness alone lowers intensity. When grief is acknowledged rather than pushed away, it loosens its grip.
This is not about forcing positivity
This practice is not “stay positive” in disguise. It is not trying to rush you into acceptance. It is about honoring what is real today.
If all you can do right now is name it, that counts.
