Why Anticipatory Grief Feels Like an Emotional Roller Coaster

One of the most confusing things about anticipatory pet loss grief is how contradictory it can feel.

In a single day, or even a single hour, you might feel overwhelming sadness followed by hope. Gratitude followed by guilt. Peace followed by panic. You may cherish every snuggle one moment, then spiral the next, wondering how much time is left or how you will ever make the right decisions.

This emotional whiplash can leave you feeling unsteady, like you are never fully grounded.

There is a reason for this.

The “in-between” is inherently stressful

Anticipatory grief places you in a constant state of tension. You are trying to hold on while also preparing to let go. You are asked to stay present while your mind keeps jumping to the future. You are loving deeply in a situation that feels profoundly out of your control.

Your brain is trying to protect you by preparing for what is coming. At the same time, your heart wants to stay right where you are, with your pet, in this moment. That push and pull is exhausting.

Why guilt shows up so often

Many pet parents experience guilt during anticipatory grief. Guilt can sound like:

• “Why am I thinking about the end when they are still here?”
• “If I feel relief after a good day, does that mean I’m selfish?”
• “What if I don’t know when it’s time?”
• “What if I make the wrong choice?”

None of this means you are failing. It means you are navigating one of the hardest emotional experiences a pet parent can face.

When nothing has ended, but everything feels fragile

Anticipatory grief is messy and nonlinear. You are living in an in-between space where nothing has ended, but everything feels delicate.

If you feel like you are constantly bracing for impact, waiting for the other shoe to drop, know this: there is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.

You are allowed to feel both the light and the heavy. There is room for both.